It's the day after Halloween. I am with the kids at home today. We're eating our "deedee." I hope she eats it all, gets sick, and we'll be done with it. Last year I only let her have a few pieces a day and it became her goal in life to get more every day. It consumed her. I know better now.
I'm an assistant den leader in cub scouts right now. I'm just getting started. I have only done one activity so far, but I'm happy to do it. I really love the boys. We only have three, and after christmas we'll just have two. But they love being part of the scouts, something bigger than themselves, and I feel the keen responsibility of teaching them how to become mature, respectful, and honest boys. Of course the ultimate responsibility lies with their parents, but we have an opportunity to teach them things they want to learn from us. Parents don't usually get that privaledge. So I'm happy to be volunteering my time this way.
Kaylee is so big now. She can talk when she wants to, though she still doesn't say her 'l's. So she says Kayee, or Kaydee. She is so cute when she talks about syeepine on her poyo. (sleeping on her pillow.) And she likes the yite (light) on. She talks backwards so she says 'on a yite.' Instead of -turn the light on, and she says 'cheese want mommy peese.'
The other day she was asking for a cookie. I said no, and she gave me a sad pouty face, and said 'peese mommy?' I still said no, and she walked away and came back and said 'kisses?' So she kissed me, and then she put on the sweetest most charming smile she could manage, and said so maturely and warmly, "peeeeese a cookie, mommy? Peeeeeese?" along with the sign language for please. There was such peace in her expression, as though she knew I was going to give her what she thought she needed. How could I resist! I laughed and said alright, She'd worked for it. ;)
Peter is pulling up to stand, and even cruising a little, siding along the couch and mattresses. He's not as fast as Kaylee was, thank goodness. She walked at 10 months. I'm hoping he'll wait till he's 12 months. He has a cute little grin, and he's very ticklish. He loves books already, and loves to be held and walked around with. He's not extremely cuddly, but still needs lots of affection. He has one tooth, and is going around biting everything. He's trying to bite me right now, but I think he knows he cant chomp down, cause the times he's done it while nursing, I holler and he gets scared.
I'm so in love with my children. I don't know what I'd do without them. I don't know who I'd be without them, and I'm realizing that that's okay. When my children are grown, that'll be the time I can do whatever I want, and odds are, I'll want to do things with them! That's okay too! I love being a stay at home mom. When I look into the deep eyes of my babies, and feel their love and share my life with them, I know I'd never trade them for anything in the world. I'd have to be very poor before I'd send them away and get a job. Almost every day we dance around the house for an hour, we draw and read books together, we cuddle and talk, and go on walks and rides in the golf cart. Every day I teach them about the world and God, and themselves. I can't bear to see them suffer, and although I make many stupid mistakes, and sometimes lose my cool, and all in all, I am not a very good mother yet, I am still trying to be better, and I'm not at all sorry I'm doing it. It's what I've worked my whole life to become. I just hope I can become a better person so my children can have a good example to follow.
