4pm crash time

Right now it's my 4pm crash time. It's when I'd love to take a nap, but with three kids, I don't get that option. I have started dinner, and am just waiting on the chicken to finish cooking. I will get a second wind at about 7:00 which will give me the energy to clean up dinner, get the kids to bed, and then crash at 10:00. If I stay up longer, I'll get a third wind and be able to stay up till midnight. I try not to stay up that long.

This time of day when I need to nap but can't, I become sentimental, and start looking back at my life. I keep thinking about something Kirk said in his marriage CDs. He says that the purest kind of love, is "I love myself for your sake." Meaning we love others enough to not be an emotional burdeon on them. We don't have checklists in our mind of who does more for the other, our relationship is not a competition, the other person doesn't have to prove anything to us, and there is no resentment on our part because of feeling unfulfilled. "I make sure I'm fulfilled on my own." Truest love is without strings, expecting the other to meet any of our needs. It is completely selfless, because only when our cup is full can we think of others without selfish desires of having that person fulfilling needs we may have. Christ-like love. How many people have I loved that way? Have I ever been whole enough to love anyone that way? I think my whole soul is due for a make-over.